International Widows’ Day: 3 ways to support a widow

• June 23 is International Widows’ Day. 
• It is estimated that there are more than 258 million widows worldwide. 
• What are the best ways to support a widowed person?

June 23 is International Widows’ Day, a special date designated by the United Nations to highlight the issues of poverty and injustice faced by millions of widows and widowers around the world.

It is estimated that there are more than 258 million widows and widowers globally and approximately 100 million of them are economically vulnerable and suffer social stigma associated with the absence of their partners. So what is the best way to support them? Here are three things you can do today!

3. International Widows’ Day: Choose your words carefully

It is often difficult to find the right words to offer comfort to a widowed person who is going through a loss. However, it is very important that you choose affirming and positive words, such as, ‘I’m so sorry’, ‘You’re doing a great job,’ or ‘Tell me how I can help you’. Offer help only if you are willing to follow through with it, as this will reassure the person that you are there for them, not only with words, but also with actions.

Sometimes it’s best not to say too much, especially if the loss is recent. In the first days, avoid phrases like, ‘I couldn’t go through this’ or ‘I know what you’re going through,’ or ‘You’re not alone’. Everyone’s situation is different and even if you have gone through a loss, your experience is uniquely yours. Sometimes a hug and just saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I’m here for you,’ may be all that’s needed.

2. Be supportive but give the widow some space

During the first days of a loss, the widow or widower may feel overwhelmed with the paperwork and logistics. If they have children, they may find it difficult to explain to them what happened, care for them and, at the same time, coordinate the wake, burial, or cremation.

One way to provide help is by offering to take care of simple tasks — prepare food, clean the house, take care of the children, run errands or spend quality time with the bereaved person. No matter what, avoid invading the widow or widower’s personal space. Remember that your company and support is also important in the months, and even years, after the loss, as many people who go through this process report feeling alone, even when their closest friends and family have promised their help.

1. International Widows’ Day: Respect the grieving process

One way to help a widowed person is by respecting their grief. For some people, this takes weeks or months, while for others it make take years to adjust to the loss. The sadness of grief is not something that can disappear overnight and it is likely that the version you knew of that person will morph over time.

Widowhood brings with it numerous economic and social challenges, so your help could be key for the widowed person to access benefits, therapy or activities that help them recover little by little. Keep in mind that this will take some time, and that phrases like, ‘Soon you will find love,’ ‘Time heals all wounds,’ or ‘It’s about time you got out there,’ often have a negative impact on the grieving process.