Sex Secrets You Should Keep From Your Husband!

• Though you should trust your husband, sometimes is good to keeps some things for yourself
• We explain to you the dangers of sharing private thoughs with him
• This is important for your relationship

When dating, couples learn about each other. They trade stories of childhood and college, they introduce family and friends. As the relationship advances, they trade more intimate details of their lives. And when couples make the decision to share their lives, they vow to act as one. But does that include sharing your past sexual adventures with your husband? Some confessions he might find shocking, and some might only raise an eyebrow. So which sex secrets should you keep from your husband?

Few of us reach marriage as virgins and some of us have extensive sexual experiences before meeting “the one” and settling down. Does that mean your spouse needs to know every detail of every encounter you had prior to meeting him? No! When considering if you should tell all, ask yourself if the admission with hurt the relationship, help the relationship or make any difference at all. Here are just a few examples of when to tell and when to keep your sex secrets:

Don’t share numbers with your husband

Your husband knows there were boyfriends before him. Does it make any difference if there were 2 or 20? Probably not, if you’ve made the choice to be faithful. That secret you can keep to yourself. Your husband is friends with a guy you once had a big crush on, and you’ve admitted the former crush. But he doesn’t really need to know that you gave that same guy—his buddy—oral sex in the back seat on prom night. Again, a secret best kept to yourself.

Confessing fantasies to each other could stimulate your sex life. Confessing a drunken same sex encounter with your old roommate might not. Then again, it might really turn him on. Weigh what you know about your spouse to decide. If your last boyfriend was bigger, lasted longer and was more inventive than your spouse, keep that to yourself. There’s nothing more harmful to the male ego than comparison.

Don’t share this

Do you fantasize about someone else when having sex with your husband? If your fantasy involves the next door neighbor, keep it to yourself (and avoid the neighbor!) If your fantasy involves an anonymous police officer, fireman or burglar, than your husband might be more than willing to play along. 

You’ve talked about the cross country road trip you took after college. Confessing to a hook up with two guys in the back of a Dodge Caravan might be more than he needs to know.  You have an active sex life but you still masturbate with the shower spray. Will he be threatened by that knowledge, or somehow feel inadequate? If so, keep that secret (and the shower head) to yourself. 

The past and your husband

In a past relationship or marriage, you had an affair. Should you tell your husband? Would he understand that your circumstances were different, that you were young, immature, or confused, or all of the above? Or will he just be suspicious of you cheating on him, since you’ve got a track record of infidelity? Tread carefully here.

Some secrets are so big that they’re going to come out despite your best efforts. So it’s better to share them yourself rather than have him hear them from someone else. Tell him about the baby you gave up for adoption at 16, before your long lost (adult) child comes knocking on your door.

Both sides

That long dormant case of herpes that is “under control?” Yes, he needs to know about that too, before your former college roommate and current BFF lets it slip after too many glasses of pinot grigio. You came into your marriage with a past, the same way your spouse did.

If you choose to provide complete disclosure with names and dates, feel free. You know your spouse best and you know whether or not a confession will change your relationship. But full disclosure is a two-way street, so he’d better be willing to lay all his sex secrets on the table, and you’d better be prepared to hear them!