The Subtle Art of Writing the Perfect Thank You Notes

Never underestimate the power and elegance of a thank you written down on stationary. Perfect thank you notes are material evidence that you are genuinely thankful for a present, a favor, or for walking your dog when you were in the hospital. For the person who receives that note, the process of simply opening your card, feeling the paper, hearing your voice as they read it, can actually be better than receiving a gift in return.

Why do people find the fact that you gave them a hand written note so charming (rather than say an email thank you or an e-card thank you)? Kim Izzo, etiquette columnist, told Oprah.com: “It’s making the effort. People really appreciate getting mail that’s not a bill, for one thing, and just taking that extra bit of time to write a thank you note really means everything.”

Do not delay with thanks

Take for example a situation where a neighbor makes you a pot of homemade chicken soup when you had the flu. Etiquette columnists like Ceri Marsh suggest not waiting longer than a week after receiving the gift or kind gesture to get that thank you note out. Marsh advises giving yourself a week because if you wait longer, then you put it off another week and then you feel dumb about acknowledging the gift so long after.

This rule changes, however, when it comes to your wedding. The editors at the Emily Post Institute stress that contrary to popular belief, couples who were recently married do not have a year’s grace period in which to write their thank you notes.  So how long is too long? Three months after the wedding. So aim to send your thank you notes within three months after receiving the gift.

The occasions of the notes

So what are some occasions other than weddings in which you should send a thank you card? To the host of party that was thrown in your honor, for baby shower gifts, for gifts sent by mail, after being hosted as a houseguest (who is not a close friend or relative) or for congratulatory or sympathy gifts, are just a few. When someone spends both time and money to select and send something special for you, there’s really no excuse for not spending five minutes writing that note and 49 cents on that stamp to acknowledge it. You will thank yourself you did.

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