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6 Things Men Want in Bed But Won’t Ask For

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  • Man have some thoughts that they don’t share
  • All the people have some kinky ideas
  • Learn what men want but dont share

You’ve got a great sex life with your man. Or, maybe you’ve got a ho-hum sex life with your man but are otherwise happy. Still, unless you are a retired porn star, your guy may not be getting everything he wants from you in bed. Maybe he’s shy about asking, or maybe he’s afraid you’ll think he’s a pervert! We ran an anonymous survey some of our male friends and readers, and here’s what they told us–6 things men want in bed but won’t ask for. 

More blow jobs: Let’s face it, no man ever complained about getting too much oral sex. You may give him a blow job every now and then, or as a part of foreplay. But maybe you make it known that you’re only doing it because it’s expected of you. “It would be nice,” says Paul, who is in a LTR, “if my girlfriend offered to go down on me without me having to be ask or nudge her in that direction.” Oh, and trust me, he wants you to swallow, every time. 

Dress to impress on the bed


More lingerie: He’d like you to make sexy time more of an event, and that means playing dress up. Sure, it’s a lot easier and more comfortable to come to bed in one of his old t-shirts, but truth is, he’d rather you come to bed looking like a Playboy centerfold. “I feel like it’s wrong of me to ask,” says Steve, who has been married for 10 years, “because I know she’s tired from work and the kids. But if she came to bed in some slutty lingerie and red lipstick once in a while, well…I sure wouldn’t complain.”

More aggression from you: “She is always waiting for me to make the first move,” says Darren, married with a kid. “I’d really love her to grab me in the middle of the night or better yet, to wake up to her giving me oral sex. That would put me in the mood right away!” Most guys don’t want to be the aggressors all the time, and they’d like their partners to be more forward when it comes to making the first move.

Talk like

Partners kissing in bed

Dirty talk: “I don’t want to go to bed with a nun!” complains Mario, who is currently between relationships. “When a woman talks dirty in bed and tells me in explicit terms what she wants me to do, it’s a huge turn-on.” We women may have been taught that “good girls” don’t talk dirty, but a few four-letter words of encouragement never hurt anyone.

Anal sex: For most men, all roads lead to anal. They all want it, or at least want to try it, but many won’t ask. “I’d never ask a woman to have anal sex without first knowing if she liked it or not,” says Ricky, who is divorced. “But you can tell when a woman is open to the idea.” So if you’re interested in having anal sex with your partner, try playfully mentioning it during foreplay or after sex, when you’re having pillow talk. You can always save it for next time!

Explore in the bed

Couple in bed hugging

A little S&M: Since long before 50 Shades of Grey, perfectly normal couples have been engaging in light bondage, spanking and dominance/submission in the bedroom. Chances are your man is at least curious about it, but maybe he’s afraid of scaring you off. “Maybe it’s wrong in post-feminist culture,” says Raul, who currently has a girlfriend, “but I like engaging in some rough play and being dominant in bed.

Not every time, but once in a while it’s pretty hot.” Other men like the shoe on the other foot—“I’d love to try being tied up by a woman and letting her take charge, just to see what it’s like” says Rob, who is currently single. “But I would never ask. What if she thought I was gay, or somehow less manly for wanting a woman to dominate me?”  So, there you have it, our decidedly unscientific survey of what men want in bed but will never ask for. Are you ready to make some changes to your sexual repertoire? Tell us your thoughts in Comments, below!

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