You want to know how to be a better girlfriend or wife, right? Would you categorize yourself as a giver or a taker in a relationship? If you’ve felt like you gave everything to someone (and ended up depleted afterwards), then you’re probably a “Giver.” When it comes to couple karma, it seems the best way to approach love would be to be a Giver type since supposedly you get what you give, right? As Psychology Today reports, according to Adam Grant, author of Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, people fall into three distinct categories: Givers, Matchers, and Takers.
Now, while the Giver style has its drawbacks if you aren’t cautious (becoming a door mat for example), Grant says Givers are also usually the most attractive partners. Givers are also the most likely to have long-term relationships. Why? It’s probably because the trait a study found most highly valued in potential romantic partners was sheer kindness.
No one is perfect
The fact of the matter is being a good partner requires knowing how to be not only kind, but tolerant. Because let’s face it, neither of you is perfect. And those nerve-wracking quirks aren’t going anywhere too soon. “So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it’s not immediately recognizable,” said Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, in a Cosmopolitan interview. “Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion.” It’s all about the spin you put on the situation. It’s all about how you spin the situation in your head.
As HuffPost tells it, if you’re keen on figuring out how to be a better girlfriend, learning how to handle fights is perhaps the best trait of honor to show. It will not only make you a desirable partner, but one to admire. The key is not worrying about who wins or loses, but what you learned from the fight to avoid the same situation in the future. The fight is over, just get past it; life is too short to waddle in grief and anger. Show your partner that you moved on and they will eventually follow your lead.
You also have to laugh
What’s another trait that one loves in a partner? A person who laughs a lot and doesn’t take everything too seriously. Let’s face it, relationships get stressful and people start focusing on their partner’s negative behaviors and they get bitter and resentful. Try not to take things so seriously. Try to look at everything your partner does as sitcom amusing. Because couples that laugh together, stay together.
Another way to be the best partner is to have his back when he is in battle with someone else. Sure, you may not necessarily agree with your man about the fight he had with his co-worker or friend, but you should always be on his side despite this. We’re not saying you have to be his cheerleader in war, but simply be there to hear him out when he wants to blow steam and let him know you support him through thick and thin. He should do the same for you.
Attention keeps the flame alive
And finally, spoil them a little. Whether it’s a small present to show your love or sweet tokens of appreciation here and there for no particular reason, random gifts say and mean a lot. So does giving your man a steady diet of sex, even if you’d rather be watching The Good Wife. Maintain a sexual closeness with your man so you can connect on a physical and spiritual level in your relationship that goes deep in so many glorious ways but one.
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