- We are completely sure that people have fantasies
- Is there a fear about the ones that you have?
- Find out what this fantasies can do to you
If you have sexual fantasies, allow me to congratulate you! You are normal! No matter whether you are religious, spiritual, single, married, straight, gay … we all have sexual fantasies at some point, and it´s ok. Sometimes we need to conjure up a certain image or situation that arouses us, which will be the exact right stimulation to drive us over the edge and help us orgasm.
The upside of sexual fantasies is that you have full control in your mind about what happens in it and how far it goes. Let´s say you get easily aroused by images of bondage. You feel sexually excited when thinking of two men tying you up and having their way with you.
Having one or two fantasies
In your fantasy, you cannot do anything about it, and the idea makes you all kinds of hot and bothered, until you have an explosive orgasm. And then you can go on your merry way, feeling sexually relieved, satisfied and again, in full control. You chose the storyline of this fantasies and the outcome.
It was perfectly safe. Other common sexual fantasies involve threesomes – perhaps including your spouse or significant other – having sex with your boss, swinging – exchanging partners – an orgy, you name it. These are all healthy and normal situations to fantasize about, but … what would happen if you decided to act them out?
THE RISK OF JEALOUSY DUE TO FANTASIES
Especially if you involve your significant other in acting out your fantasies with other people, you run the risk of one or both of you feeling jealous. I will never forget a couple I knew years ago, who broke up after participating in a series of orgies together. The ex-wife said of her former husband: “He had sex with the other women exactly the same way as he did it with me! That was a big turn-off, and of course I felt unloved and extremely jealous of every woman he had intercourse with.”
THE RISK OF NEEDING TO UP THE ANTE
Once you have taken the step of say, joining in group sex, bondage, swinging, BDSM, with your significant other, regular sex in bed at home may seem pretty bland in comparison. You know those headlines involving politicians and high-profile celebs engaging in the kinkiest of sex experiences? That´s most likely why they do it. Once you´ve crossed a certain line, you may need to push the limits to reach the same level of sexual satisfaction, and eventually find yourself in an awkward fantasies and maybe even dangerous position.
THE RISK OF GETTING HURT
As I mentioned above, when you need to dangerously push the limits to reach sexual pleasure, the bondage, the spanking or gagging may go a little too far, and you may end up getting physically hurt. When sexual partners engage in choking the other or covering their head with a plastic or paper bag to increase sexual pleasure (a temporary shortage of oxygen during orgasm appears to enhance pleasure), it can have fatal consequences. People have died during such practices.
THE RISK OF CONTRACTING AN STD
Most of us know the dangers of unprotected sex and hopefully carry condoms and dental dam in our purses. But when in the throes of group sex or kinky sex, it can be easy to throw caution to the wind. Sexual arousal can make us feel invincible, and one small slip-up can lead to STDs and even HIV and AIDS.
THE RISK OF BEING FOUND OUT
Acting out sexual fantasies may involve surfing the internet for swinger sites, BDSM fans, and perhaps meeting up in a stranger´s home. The thrill of it all can make you forget that what should be your private business could come out into the open and affect your family or professional life. Someone could take pictures of you or spread the gossip, which could reach your children and even your employer. Just think of those politicians who get caught sexting or getting oral sex by someone who is not their wife.
THE RISK OF GETTING ADDICTED TO FANTASIES
Sex is a healthy part of any relationship. Heck it´s even a healthy part of being single! Humans are meant to have sex. But, just like anything else that gives pleasure, sex can become addictive. The same way that you can get addicted to your vibrator, you can also become obsessed with acting out your sexual fantasies. If you find yourself spending more time planning your kinky sexual encounters than working, working out or taking care of the family, it´s time to seek out help. Now, there can be an upside to acting out certain sexual fantasies with your partner, one being that you have a “secret” together, and that can enhance your relationship. It all depends on how far you take it, and that you ensure you have control over it and not the other way around.